Aid - Part Deux

This class is continually interesting and we are increasing the amount of difficulty. The things we are learning to do will require us getting over our own issues with the words “gross” and “super private”. This is a part of nursing no matter what position you hold, so deal with it. People have to use the restroom, people must be bathed, have their hair washed, be given massages, etc. etc.
I am officially the teacher’s pet, which is ok by me. I usually either get to act as “supervisor” or I work with Lucy and help her with her translation when it comes to practicing our skills. Every time she tells us to pair up her head darts my direction as fast as lightening. I absolutely love working with her because she is so earnest and just dives right in. I think she likes me because I seem to understand what’s going on and am patient with her. We tear each step apart word by word and step by step, which is turning out to be very helpful to me.

Last night proved that my evening habits are starting to really kick me in the ass. I was really crashing in class, probably around 7PM, so I decided to run upstairs and grab a diet coke (note: a 20 oz. diet coke). That sort of held me over until the end. When class was over I reached in my pocket for my keys…no keys. I tore my bookbag apart looking for them. No keys. I decided I’d walk back across the street to check in the office. I have a card key to get in the building…but no keys to get into the office. Luckily on this night I had my cellular phone and called hospital security, who was able to send someone over to let me in. This added an unnecessary 30 minutes onto my day. I was home by 10. Of course, I was exhausted but still had to get some study time in before my test. I managed to get into bed around 11:40. However, although my body was absolutely exhausted, my heart was racing thanks to the 20 OZ DIET COKE that I just haaaad to ingest during class for survival. I had the knee bouncy thing going, heart pounding away, brain working overtime. I ended up taking two, count ‘em, two shots of vodka to try to slow everything down. I tossed for a while but eventually drifted off. I may have gotten 5 hours of sleep. I have a test today and I have CPR class tonight (hear the violins?). I’m slowly losing my cotton picking mind.

Until the next hairy adventure.

Angels

As I’ve mentioned before, I work in an administrative office for a cancer center. Our building has 4 floors. The first floor has administrative offices and an outpatient clinic, second and third floors are our inpatient areas and the fourth floor has faculty offices and a few research labs. Early one morning, my boss had to show me the location of someone’s office because I was going to escort a candidate there for an interview and it sucks to be wandering around with a candidate like you don’t know anything about where you work. Been there, done that.

She and I are chatting, going up in the elevator and the doors open on one of the patient floors and standing before us are 3 lovely ladies dressed perfectly in white. Now, I’m not religious, but they looked like angels. Angels with a clip board, white gloves and someone they were kindly escorting on to the afterlife. They were standing around what looked to be a kind of stretcher and the stretcher was covered with this perfect white plastic sheath. Its seams were all perfectly straight, no sagging, no impression of what was beneath it. But I have a very strong suspicion that what was on the stretcher was someone who lost the war. We found ourselves standing outside the elevator on the wrong floor kind of staring at them. They smiled at us kindly and softly, going about their business, waiting on an elevator to take them down. Seeing them kind of threw us both off balance. We kind of stammered, turned around to see what floor we were on and that we needed to keep going. So we slipped back on the elevator and went on up to the fourth floor. This all happened in about 3-5 seconds, but the imagery has stuck with me, like so many other times at this place.

Healthcare is tough, but its home.

Nurse Aid 101

Last week I started my 5 week nurse aid course. I have class Monday, Tuesday and Thursday evenings from 5-9PM. It makes for lots of missing the baby/daddy and waking up feeling exhausted on Thursday mornings, apparently. I'm taking this class with 8 other people from all kinds of backgrounds. Some stories are comical, some are sad, some nothing at all. I'd like to tell you all about the cast of characters that oddly remind me of the characters I've grown to love on the NBC comedy Community.

Lets start with our teacher: we'll call her Patsy. Patsy is probably in her mid to late 50s and has done it all; from CNA to RN, hospital, nursing facility and home health, she's worked with all kinds of patients and co-workers. She's a down-home girl, has great stories and is making this class easy to absorb when my brain is about full as it is.

Now, lets set the stage. The classroom is in one of the labs. The tables and chairs are in a U-shape in the center of the room and there are dummy patients in beds against the wall. Looks almost like a hospital and its way fun. So I managed to procure a seat right in the middle of the U. Lets work our way around the table from my left. Please note that I'm making up lame names to protect anonymity.

Andrew: Andrew is about 25 maybe, has pretty long hair and has a degree in something like English. His father is a dentist and I believe his mother is a professor. He's been working in food service for a little while, probably trying to figure out to do with his life. When Andrew talks in class, you can tell he's nervous, but he takes his time and sometimes speaks from notes in front of him. He also pushes his hair behind his ears on occasion. He helped to take care of an ailing grandmother. This winter he came upon someone who had been hit by a car and was lying on the side of the road and helped care for this person while they waited on the ambulance. That's what brought him here.

Amy: Amy is Andrew's co-worker at Frische's Big Boy. She's probably in her early twenties, is small, dresses kind of punk and has a speech impediment (trouble with R's). She's got this dirty blond hair in a shaggy cut, dark roots and lots of eye make up. She's real sweet with an old soul. I love her. She wants to be an RN someday. She's volunteered at nursing homes, helps take care of her mother who is battling cancer and her brother who has epilepsy. That's what brought her here. I love this girl.

Josh: Josh is on leave from the marines. He's been serving...in San Diego...helping to fight forest fires. His parents are plastic surgeons. I don't know how strong his ambition is. I think he's here to see if he can handle the medical field and then determine if he wants to follow in his parents' shoes in college. He has a fancy phone and doesn't contribute much, but seems nice enough. Just not much dept there.

Miss Priss: This girl is slowly coming out of her shell with me. Her mom is a Nurse Practitioner in the big city and she has worked there and seen much. She is the definition of "mousey." Brown hair, sharp features, short, under 100 lbs, early 20s. I'm literally twice her size in height and weight. I could throw her over my shoulder and go about my business. She speaks in a soft, high pitched tone. She's very organized and neat. When she shakes her head "yes," she also purses her lips, clears her throat and blinks her eyes at the same time. She's the kind of girl that will correct the teacher...and totally does every class, that tiny hand shoots up. Especially with her name, because Patsy can't pronounce it for shit. She's a nursing student at my institution and is currently transitioning to a private college that has a much more prestigious nursing program. Her long term goal is to be a Nurse Practitioner in Women's Health...just like me. She tries to be funny and snarky, but I can't always hear what she says, I always have to lean in and cup my hand around my ear like an old lady. Because that's what I am. But we have common long term goals and we have bonded over that.

Then there's me, smack dab in the middle.

To my right is Doreen: She's been working on her Masters in Business Administration but decided to be a nurse. Luckily she had a good adviser that advised her to switch to Healthcare Administration her last year, so she's finishing that up. She'll start the nursing program this fall. She grew up an army brat, so she's lived all over including Clarksville, TN. She's basically been in school most of her adult life. She and I attended the same institution for our undergrad degrees. So that's cool. M-T-S-U Go, Raiders, Goooo!

Next up on the right is Sally. Sally is a Kentucky girl and her personality is as dry as the Utah desert. She's probably early to mid twenties, slightly heavy set with glasses. She recently got a super stylish shaggy hair cut. She's been working very hard to bond with Doreen and we share the occasional eye roll. She's currently a phlebotomist and has decided to move on up and being a nurse aid as well. She has apparently seen some weird things happen while taking blood and wants to make sure her patients get the best care possible. She's an odd bird, I would know. I like her.

Then there's Cathy. Cathy sounds like she's from the north east, is probably in her early-mid 50s and looks it, probably because of her most recent profession: horse trainer/breeder. From the looks of her skin, you can see that she's been working outside for years. She's got this short, shaggy hair, in an odd shade of black roots and red/brown ends. Last year her fiance was in a really tragic accident that resulted in him being in a rehabilitation center for months and months. She stayed by his side the whole time. And now, she has a new career goal. She's really genuine, asks lots of good questions in class and I respect her a great deal.

And last, but not least, is Lucy. Lucy comes to us direct from China. With a B.S. and M.S. in Sociology, she went to school for a long time to work with people, but the work she was doing for the premier made her feel like she didn't understand people enough. So, she's studying nursing to get a better grasp on what it means to really provide people with basic needs care. She has an interesting background and I think her story is compelling.

I've only been in class with these folks for one week, but it feels like much more than that. By Thursday night I was so tired that I'm surprised I made it home, seriously. Then Friday morning I slept in a bit. Oh well, it sure makes Saturday's a lot more special. We'll see what adventures this week's classes bring.

Decided.

We've made our decision. It just makes the most logical sense for us right now. More on where we're going later.

Next steps:

• Get the house ready to sell, sell, sell!
• Get a job
• Get movin!

Adventure, here we come!

Donut Days

Today is donut day. I've been craving some really good donuts for a while now and I finally was able to get my fix at a local joint. Dunkin Donuts sucks, so I like to stick with locally owned bakeries. Daddy, Bebe and I left a few minutes early so I could run in and grab a dozen or so to take into the office (and eat myself). And although I totally love the donuts at this joint, I also really love the scene.

When you walk in, the first thing that hits you is that unmistakable bakery smell. Its warm and inviting and tells you exactly where you are. This smell also makes me immediately think of Bonnie Bell bakery back home and how much I miss my mama. Then your eyes hit the beautiful, back-lit glass case that runs all the way from the left end of the bakery and about 3/4 of the way to the right. The rest of that space on the right is occupied by a diner counter. There are also some booths that sit against the windows that face the street in the front of the restaurant which are always mostly full when I go in. So the diner counter is always full of "the regulars" which consist of retired gentleman in suspenders drinking coffee and having a donut and what I imagine to be some great conversation. There are also the nice folks behind the counter (its a family operation) who will let you know they'll be with you as soon as they can, but are obviously not in any hurry. Its always women and although they have their hair and make up done, they have that tired and hard look to them. Its a look that makes me feel at home.

I'd love to go in there one day with the Daddy and Bebe, give her her first donut hole and just take it all in.

Life is good,
Molly

Doubt with Ankles Torn Assunder

Last night I was about 25 minutes into my 30 minute workout, in between reps of a certain squat exercise and I was feeling pretty pumped up and proud of myself because I was really rocking out. I’m getting into shape and it feels good. I was savoring my 10 second break between reps. What I usually do during that 10 seconds is try to stay moving, stretching and walking around in the little circle of my living room. So I was doing just that (walking in a circle) and taking a quick drink of water when my ankle gave right out on me and down I went like a ton of bricks, collapsed on the floor and gasping as the reality of the pain started to settle in. It crunched when it happened, so I knew it had to be pretty bad. This has happened to me quite a few times before, so my pride wasn’t so damaged as my ability to continue my work out. The girl on the screen kept trying to coax me back in to moving. “Let’s get moving!” she kept saying, but alas, I could not. Luckily, when I screamed as I went down, my lovely husband came “a’runnin to my rescue.” He brought me an ice pack and helped me upstairs to the bath tub. The funny part is that I remembered having sprained my ankle right before one of my solo trips to NC a few years back and that I had a really kickin’ ankle brace. The brace is foam rubber with stretchy, Velcro straps. It made the long drives to and from not so painful. However, the thoughts of those trips did bring me a pang of fear in my belly. And the pang led to a string of thoughts…

I’m someone who is very in touch with her emotions, be it joy, fear, sadness, depression, etc. I am incapable of hiding my emotions, and believe me I’ve tried. I’m also someone who has always been very emotionally connected to the places that I have been, whether for short or long periods of time. I believe that I’m connected to the earth, so to speak. I have always been that way and always will be. Every time I think about the possibility of living really far away from this end of the country (for example, in Utah), I get one, right smack in the gut. The thought of being so far away that I can’t drive to one particular place (including the people in those places) that I’m connected to (be it in WV, NC, KY, MO or TN) within a day or a half day’s time bothers me. What specifically bothers me is how much I still really want to live in North Carolina. Even now with our new priority of living close to family (and I do really want this), I can still feel how bad I want it and how frustrating it is to possibly be physically moving in the opposite direction. I had to escort a candidate around a little this morning and she and her husband and baby currently live in Durham (she’s at Duke, poor girl) but they are moving to be closer to family. So I know that we aren’t the only one’s preparing to start over in a new place to be near family. I’m sure that wherever we go, it won’t be forever and that I’ll get to live where my soul flies eventually. And please don’t get me wrong, I realize how menial and silly this all is. Home is where you make it, so long as your loved ones are there. Amen.

The point is that sometimes in life we have to do hard things that have the potential of being more magical than we could ever imagine. Not living in NC and my intense fear of heights are my two big brain hurdles at the moment. I’m almost ready to jump them and move on to whatever is next. But I’d better let my ankle heal up first.

Have a nice weekend. Go make some cookies.

Molly

Days in Daze

I've not been sleeping much this week which is kicking my ass, hardcore. Trouble is, I want to be awake. I want to stay up and watch as much TV as I can. But alas, I'm old and need my winks. Five plus hours isn't cutting it for Jane. Tonight, I sleep early.

I also haven't quite recovered from our trip to the big city this last weekend. Non-stop from leaving the house Friday morning until Sunday night when we got home. I keep going over everything in my head about potentially moving (back and forth, back and forth). What is the right move? I really love spending time with his family. I love them like I love my own. But I can tell you that two feet(+) of snow in my parents' back yard isn't helping things at all, no sir. And more is on the way in KY and WV. Really, Snow Miser? Really? Get a fucking life already. No, you get a life.

This weekend is VD Day (as my nurse mother likes to call it). Typically I'm not into the evils of commercial holidays. But after a year and a half of having a baby and a job and school, sometimes you need a cheesy excuse for a little romance. So there. Daddy and I are going out tomorrow night for dinner and a movie. And I'm making some kind of breakfast sweet on Sunday for all three of us to share. Maybe he'll surprise me and wash a few loads of laundry in lieu of flowers. And we'll be sure to give extra kisses all around so baby will be sure to enjoy VD Day.

Lets get this party started.

Its officially official, I'm registered for the SRNA (State Registered Nurse Aid) training class. Its going to be really hard (my schedule) but we are dedicated to making it work so we can push on to the next level=Nursing School.

The class takes place Monday, Tuesday and Thursday evenings from 5-9PM for a period of one month. I'll also have two full clinical days, each taking place on Saturdays. How this translates in my head is how little I'll get to see the baby on those days, which will only be in the AM. Luckily I'll get to see hubby in the PM for a little while. I also find myself thinking about how long I'll be on campus those days (13 hours) and its going to make for some long ass days. But I just remind myself that it is only a month and we'll get through it just fine.

I am in charge of my own destiny, at least this part of it.

As you can see...

I was sick and tired of looking of that happy picture of "Kentucky in Winter" on the title bar, so I've changed it to go along with our current predicament of where to live (Utah vs. WV). The below are not big picture items, just the little things that I ponder on occasion as I consider the two possibilities.

Winding country roads or straight, lonely stretches of desert highway.

Constant sand boogers or summer humidity.

My family or his family.

Mormons or run of the mill Christians.

Dry, orange dirt that doesn't really grow anything or damp, brown dirt that I can plant tomatoes and peppers in.

Lots of Mexican food options or lots of Italian food options.

Mild, dry winters or cold, precipitous winters.

Vacations to Colorado and California or vacations to the North Carolina coast.

Weekend getaways to Las Vegas or weekend getaways to Pittsburgh.

No local great grandparents or all local great grandparents.

Mormon Fundamentalists or Backwoods Hillbillies.

I'd very much like a nice glass of red wine right now, but I'm at work. So that's a no-go. Instead I'll pop on down the street for a cup of coffee (my day time drug of choice).

Thanks for reading this slightly random post.

WTF, Gods of Fate?

Listen, I've been blogging over where in the hell we should moved to next since the last time we moved. I like this place because blah blah blah and I feel blah blah blah, sentimental blah blah blahs. I'm exhausted because just when I thought it was a done deal, it is no longer a done deal. We've been researching our move to WV for a good month. We even officially announced it to my family, who lives there. But this winter has been cruel in KY, even crueler in WV. My husband said it on the way home Friday, "life is hard enough..." He's right, it is hard enough with work, school and bringing-up-baby. Add nasty weather and constant bouts of illness and we've about had it. So then we started talking and he mentions Utah, specifically where his parents live.

I immediately said "no fucking way, too far, I couldn't do it to my family and I couldn't handle it personally." I would really miss being so close to my family and that place I still call home. But I kept thinking about it and Derek kept mentioning it. Surprisingly, I found myself the day before yesterday being ok with it. I've done my research and have been there many times. This place is a great place. Its safe, its beautiful, its warm there year round (it is the dessert, after all), real estate isn't too bad and Derek's parents are there so it fulfills the family requirement of our next move. Luckily I get along well with them, otherwise it would be a no-go. Don't get me wrong, it does have its down sides (and i'll post those later). Our main concern is making the best decision for our family. If we do decide to go west and it doesn't work out, we can always bail and head back east and try our luck there. We're still young, so what the hell, lets have an adventure, right?!

Ultimately, all this decision means is that we are putting Utah in the hat along with WV and both stand at about 50/50%. We're going to go around and around with both until we eventually figure this thing out. Wish us luck.

Cheers