Molly-Molly-MIA

What can I say?  I've been busy. 

I started school last week and things have been rockin' and rollin' ever since.  Classes are great, I start clinical tomorrow, I'm overall a happy girl.  We actually have time to do the studying we need to do this semester and not be bogged down by busy work that isn't meaningful or helpful in any way.

I had a few weird dreams this week, probably mostly caused by the constant stream of energy and thought I've had about all things random.  I've been biking from the far-away student lot to campus so I get this morning rev-up that I'm not used to.  But it gets me cranked and I stay that way all day.  After two days of that, I crashed hard last night.  Days like that also produce dreams.  That brain, always processing those things we try to shove out during the day, while we try to get some sleep.  Wish I could say more about that, but it wouldn't be prudent.  Just a dream, after all.  Those are like secret journal entries, right?     

The garden we started in July is producing some lovely takings.  We had some beans, we have some small green tomatoes starting.  Might fry a few of those up this weekend.  Friday night is date night, so we're headed to see a band that I really like called Southeast Engine.  Go give them a listen if you aren't familiar. 

Podcast Update: I have my first pre-recorded show still unfinished...but ALMOST finished.  All of my audio editing skills are coming back to me.  I just need to record a closer...its that last piece that I just haven't gotten around to.  I hope to soon.  I won't indicate any sort of deadline, because then I'll just screw that up.  I have a lot on my plate and I'll just say this: I will get there and soon.

More soon.  Over and out!

Reminiscing Freshman Year: 1998-1999

I'm having a lot of memories pop up as I'm getting ready for school for the fall semester.  Its different than last semester. Fall always drags out the nostalgia.  Its making me miss my MTSU friends like crazy.

I remember: 

1. That first day of band camp in the rehearsal hall with the drum line, where my confidence flew quickly out the window upon discovering that everyone played traditional...and really good.  

2. Sitting on the front stoop of Cummings Hall and watching my family drive away and not knowing how to feel.  

3. All the laughing I did with my good pals in the cymbal line and how little we actually read the music, opting instead for improvisation and flourishes…oh yeah, and hells of dancing.  

4. Seeing Josh's penis piercing and not really understanding how that could be pleasant for his girlfriend...I suppose I was really more amazed that I saw a penis than a piercing. 

5. Having an odd crush on the older guy in the bass drum-line who in retrospect was a major loser. I think he was like 27 or something.  Gross Molly, Gross. 

6. Sitting sober outside the dorm with Erin, eating fast food, being amazed with how easily and frequently she said the "f" word while watching upperclassmen bring the drunk freshman (with comically green-drunk faces) back to their dorm rooms from the Beaters and Wavers party.   

7. Cymbal line "practice" in Crystal's tiny apartment.  Pure shenanigans and laugh-crying (the fun kind).

8. That Jack Daniel's fruit punch thing that Maggie gave me.  

9. Meeting Lara for the first time while visiting Mags and being confused about the sacredness of clowning and being concerned that she didn't like me...because I sure liked her. I do believe that she was preoccupied by a douch-bag at the time.  

10. Many trips to the old library to use Frank, the DOS email system.   

11. My shitty 3-person overflow dorm room with the constant  parade of shitty room-mates and their shitty friends.  

12. Making out with this really odd blonde fella in the lobby of the dorm and thinking that there was too much tongue and that my face was too wet and just being completely embarrassed at being seen by the people walking by.  Ech.  

13. The way-too-old-to-be-a-Resident Assistant Murray-the-Hippy, walking or hitching with his pony tail, funky hat and bookbag (requisite pool stick hanging out) to The 'Boro to play pool. I'm positive now that he was ALWAYS HIGH.  

14. Walking with Erin to La Fiesta on one of those first weekends because mysteriously, anyone remotely local left town on Friday immediately following class or if they were lucky, Thursday night.  Murry, enroute to bar, stuck his head out the window of his ride and called me out as "West Virginia!".  

15. What was that green-yellow soda called, Volt?  Drinking way too much full sugar Coke-Cola and Volt.  Way too much, 30lbs-o-chunk-gained and yellow teeth too much. Know what I mean?  16. To this day, I still am not a big fan of mac-n-cheese thanks to too many in-room meals.  But I'd love to try microwaving cornbread or cake again sometime....pshhh hahahahaha.  

17. Being kidnapped by Crystal and driven to the far reaches of West TN for a slightly angst filled (yet totally fun) weekend with her family. I remember us driving to the grocery store to get VanCamps baked beans or pork n beans for Sunday supper.  Whichever it was, I got it flat wrong and I had to go back and exchange it.  I was so confused at the time at what in the hell the difference was and chocked it up to "it must be a TN thing".  There were many more of those moments in college. 

18. One hell of a weekend in the Smokey Mountains with Mags.  She took me every where.  We went to laser tag, Ripley's Haunted, Dollywood (I remember buying Castile soap), Dixie Stampede. It was wild.  

19. A generous ride to the airport on my way home for Thanksgiving by Amy and Crystal and listening to some new pop song ALL the way there.  That'd be Brittany Spears "Oops, I did it again" just for the record.  It was bad then and its bad now.  But the car ride was a hoot. 

20. Driving to West End Nashville with Mags one Friday night to get my nosed pierced.  I remember the guy who did it.  He had a dyed black hair, a ponytail, tight black jeans and a great sense of humor. He made lots of jokes about the Vandy girls who came in for their tramp stamps.  I miss that piercing. 

21. My bell bottoms, leather flip-flop thong sandals, and all my concert T's. 

22. Meeting Bruce in History of the Recording Industry, thanks to my trusty Van Halen shirt.  I also remember my digital metronome getting turned on by accident and the teacher walking around the room until he found it...IN MY BAG.  I couldn't even tell, thanks to my ears being blow out from Marching Band.  So embarrassing.  

23. The sound of nothing but the drumline, almost playing in unison, in a parking lot late at night.  I miss that sound.  But I still don't miss an asshole named Andy...or his Khaki pants.  But I do miss songs about his khaki pants.  Anyone have those somewhere?

24. Walking campus late at night and all alone with nothing but my Discman and the stillness of night to keep me company. 

25. Too many hours clocked on a charter bus.  

26. The annoying Snapple girl...she asked Erin to say "snapple" with her Cleveland accent. We all wanted her to die by the time we got home. 

27. Flirty boys who never made moves.  So annoying.  

28. Weird nights in weird hotels with many a drunk band member.  

29. My first trip to a catfish joint called Uncle Buds, wherein I witnessed someone order something called "Chicken Fried Steak" for the first time.  Serious culture shock, people. 
30. General adventures through the jungle of Murfreesboro...there were many.


I'm not sure where else to go with this...I just hope I keep remembering things and that you help me to do it. 

What do you remember?

Snuggle-Tears

Last night, during bath time with Bebe, she stopped playing and completely broke down in tears.  When I asked her why, she said it was because she missed her friends.  She named them, the two boys, and just cried and cried.  I pulled her out of the tub and wrapped her in her giant towel and tried to explain that she would see them first thing in the morning when we went to school.  She was fine after a while.  I know it was because she was really tired, she was plum-tard all evening.  Although we always have some snuggle time when she gets out of the tub, I had an excuse to hold and rock her for an extended time.  During snuggle-tears time, she said that it "broke my heart".  Of course, I had explained heartbreak earlier that evening, but its funny how quickly she picked it up. This is written weirdly, in short it was ridiculous and cute. 

Signs of Change

Notice anything different?

Gearing Up for Something

As much as I am a bit worn out from vacation last week, I'm also starting to feel a hint of renewal as well. I've been slowly unpacking and working through some laundry the last few days. Sunday, our first day back, Bebe and I went to Walmart to get some things that we just have needed but that I've been holding back on because of money troubles. I decided to eat it and just get them. I got a new hamper for laundry, a clothes line and clothes pins for the back yard (which us up and kick-ass), laundry basket and a dish rack/dryer thing for the kitchen (so sick of wet dishes sitting on towels on the counter for a week). This weekend I'm going to go back to shopping at Aldi for most items, a trip to Sam's Club for bulk essentials like toilet paper, frozen chicken breast and maybe some new underoos and socks for Mama (I love's me some microfiber granny panties).

School is about 3 weeks out and I'm trying to wrap up this stuff before its too late. Once school starts, time for other life things ends and I have come to terms with it. I've decided to kind of draw a line in the sand, if you will, in regards to what I’m willing to do for school. No extra curricular activities, no study groups (waste of time usually), no dinners, no bitch sessions. Its home, school, work; in that order, and nothing else. If I don't do it like that, it'll be like last semester and I'm not having any of that shit. I'd like to be able to enjoy my evenings & weekends at home with my kid, to go out to dinner with my betrothed, to live. I'm determined to work hard to make that happen.

I'm starting to feel sentimental about the seasons. Its funny because its not that old back-to-school shit, but it’s fall in general. Its coming and I'm excited about it for specific reasons: Bebe's birthday (3 years old! shit, time flies), Halloween, apple- and pumpkin-butter, fall festivals of all kinds, not sweating in my blue jeans and warm, spiced drinks. I just hope that we actually get to experience a nice fall season with leaves changing into beautiful colors instead of them just burning to a brown crisp and falling off the trees sometime in October.

*I've been pretty hard on my mom the last few days and I'd like to add a disclaimer, if anything, just to make myself feel better about all the brutal honesty. I love my mom and we do have a very good relationship. But the things that I have experienced with her over the last week were good and bad and toward the end of the week, it was more of the bad from my perspective. I want nothing more than for her to be genuinely happy and healthy. On that note, have a great week!

I'm Back

We made it back safe and sound. I've detailed the experience on last night's show, go have a listen.

And have a nice day, damn-it.

Love,
Molly