1932nd Nervous Breakdown...Wednesday Edition!

Its Wednesday, but I only know that because I just happened to read it somewhere, not because I have some inherent awareness of what day is what. Just so I don't forget, lets do a Wednesday by the numbers!

1. Bebe is scared when she goes to bed now, so that's a new nightly battle.  We read a gazillion books, sing the soothing goodnight songs and step out of the room like normal and the panic sets in.  She didn't fall asleep last night until 10:04PM....in my bed...and only with me next to her.   
2. I have a pile of laundry that is trying to bury me alive. I will finish it and spit on its grave.
3. I can't get up early enough to work out as much as I'd like,but I'm persevering with the no meat and no dairy.  I think I've lost some weight, so that's a positive.  And no, I haven't been able to will myself onto a scale for fear that it will send me into a shame spiral.  I mean, I hate myself enough already without physical proof.
4.  I really want an egg, sunny side up, cooked in a little olive oil.  Salt and pepper.  Runny. Little chunk of bread to dip in the yolk.
5. I don't think I like cheese anymore.  Please note, I'm talking about run of the mill, pre-sliced, sandwich cheese.  Now, if you put some farmers cheese on a cracker or some brie?  Going in my mouth (insert dick joke here).
6. I desperately want to do another episode of the podcast but can't figure out how to work that very tedious process into my life at the moment.  But I do have a guest list damnit.
7. I'm already planning road trips for my entire winter break.  Bebe and I will be traveling to TN, WV, and OH.
8. School is kicking my ass and I don't know what else I can do to make it less painful...or more painful. 
9. My family is making me absolutely bananas...which is an excellent transition to 11! 

10. This weekend I'm getting in the family truckster and driving solo, sans Bebe, to TN to visit two fabulous people and to have some time to myself.  Part of me feels guilty for not taking her, because I want her to know her aunties.  Part of me wants to leave her here because I want to punish my husband.  Part of me is jealous that he gets the whole weekend with her.  I'm running away for 2 nights and that's that.
11. Haven't had much time for fun things like painting my toe nails, plucking my eyebrows, flipping through magazines and listening to my favorite podcasters.  I'm going to catch up on that last one this weekend.  I need some Maron and Walking the Room to make it all right again.   If you listen to either, especially the later, you know how fucked that is.

Love to hear from you,
Molly

7 Days or So Later...

After 7 days and nights of not eating meat and dairy, I'm here to report that I'm hella sick of beans and sweet potatoes.  Its very difficult to plan separate meals or even modify meals with no meat, dairy, oils, flavor, etc.  But really, the eating part wasn't bad at all.  I don't mind not eating meat, as previously mentioned, but its not a cheap practice.  And I'm having a hard time with the idea of not being able to have frozen yogurt on occasion.  So now that I've experienced a week of this thing and have a better understanding of how it all works, I'm going to find what the Buddha calls "The Middle Way".  I think that's pretty self explanatory but I'll detail: I'm going to stick with the soy milk,  little to no oils, and remain mostly meat free.  I'm going to enforce a rule at home that requires at least 2 meals during the week to be meat free.  A. Meat is expensive. B. Don't need it!

Aaaaand, does anyone remember how much I want chickens?  Well damnit, I still want chickens!  I can't deny myself the need and desire to raise, eat the eggs of and eventually slaughter chickens in my very own suburban back yard.  After I get this next test behind me, I'm going to get crackin' on that coop before the weather gets too cold.  Hell, one more thing on the list of things I do suppose.

Love,
Molly

No meat, No dairy? Sounds a little extreme.

I watched a movie last week (in about 4 sittings, FML) called Forks Over Knives.  I'm not going to pretend to be an expert on the subject, but they show some pretty convincing evidence that indicates that we eat way too much protein (meat and dairy based) and that these two food groups are directly indicated in the country's most prominent heath issues, specifically Heart Disease.  I decided to give this lifestyle a try. I know it sounds extreme, but it really hasn't been that big of a deal. 

Ok, its day 4 of life w/out dairy and meat and I'm feeling pretty darn good. I'm not crashing during the day like I normally do.  Yeah, maybe I have a little extra gas now and then from my increased bean consumption, but everything else is pretty damn good.  I'm excited to think of where I'll be in a month...which reminds me that I need to weigh myself and take an unflattering picture in something tight.  The conclusion I've come to about why I was drawn to this diet and why I'm suddenly OK with giving up dairy and meat (like REALLY ok with it) is that there is actual peer-reviewed science behind the claims and not just that old "I can't bear to eat animals anymore" thing.  Because baby, I can eat animals no problem and plan on eating some of that delicious turkey at this Thanksgiving.  But on a daily basis, what do I care?  And I promise that I'm the last person to judge anyone for continuing to eat meat and dairy. 

I would like to take this opportunity to share some of this information with you.

First of all, go watch the movie Forks Over Knives.  Its not that long and incredibly informative.  It is on Netflix and is probably in those Redboxes.   Here's the actual Forks Over Knives movie site.  I downloaded the book for $7.17.  Lots of good stuff in there, including recipes.  This website also references lots of good recipe books. 
http://www.forksoverknives.com

Here is one of the major players in the movie, Dr. Caldwell Esselstyn's book, Heart Attack Proof.
http://heartattackproof.com/
  
Next, go check out the Engine 2 Diet, which was created by Rip Esselstyn, former fire fighter and the son of one of the MD researchers in Forks over Knives.  His is actually more of a diet "plan" that helps you transition into this kind of lifestyle, but his book includes recipes and all of the peer reviewed research and science behind "plant based whole foods" eating and living as well.  He has some good videos on you tube as well.  He's for sure a manly-man who loves his plants.
http://engine2diet.com/.  And yes, he's totally "ripped."


I'll be sure to keep you updated on how I progress and if I actually lose any weight.


Peace out,
Molly

Hit or miss, ya'll.

First of all, a big shout out to my friend Ra-Ra.  She's got a tough week this week.  It happens once a year, here's to less than once a year results and a big thumbs up for something else. 

"What happend?" That's what my almost-3 year old says when she wants to understand something.  And then you explain, and then she says, "What happened?" And so on, and so on.  I am in school and didn't plan on spending lots of time worrying about my blog or my podcast.  The first 3 weeks...month of school has been a whirlwind (see: shitstorm) of activity.  But things are settling in.  Big beginning of semester assignments are almost past meand fun clinical days are gearing up.  Other than being incredibly exhausted at the end of the day, I'm a happy woman.  One of my big rules going into this semester was that I was not going to allow the travesties of last semester take over.  That means: no freaking out, no allowing school to consume my personal life, no-not enjoying things.  So far so good.

All of that being said: I really miss writing and talking into a phone/microphone to the five of you.  Will be working to increase this over the coming weeks.  I've also really struggled to get my first podcast episode loaded on the player, but have finally done so.

For now its up, so go check it out: http://greetingsfromky.libsyn.com/webpage

Upcoming adventures for Molly:

• Nerdy trip to L-ville Friday to see Marc Maron: hooray! 
• Petit Bebe's 3rd birthday: uh, she's kind of a big deal and is really no longer a bebe.  
• 11th Date-iversary of me and my old man (which is one third of my life, people!)
• Solo (probably) trip to Nashville for much needed visit with college friends and relive "glory" days.
• Hollerween: To sexy nurse or not to sexy nurse? Most definitely NOT.
• Gluten Free Thanksgiving....this is really happening, y'all.  
• WTF Christmas...I don't even know.

Love ya-mean it,
Molly

Molly-Molly-MIA

What can I say?  I've been busy. 

I started school last week and things have been rockin' and rollin' ever since.  Classes are great, I start clinical tomorrow, I'm overall a happy girl.  We actually have time to do the studying we need to do this semester and not be bogged down by busy work that isn't meaningful or helpful in any way.

I had a few weird dreams this week, probably mostly caused by the constant stream of energy and thought I've had about all things random.  I've been biking from the far-away student lot to campus so I get this morning rev-up that I'm not used to.  But it gets me cranked and I stay that way all day.  After two days of that, I crashed hard last night.  Days like that also produce dreams.  That brain, always processing those things we try to shove out during the day, while we try to get some sleep.  Wish I could say more about that, but it wouldn't be prudent.  Just a dream, after all.  Those are like secret journal entries, right?     

The garden we started in July is producing some lovely takings.  We had some beans, we have some small green tomatoes starting.  Might fry a few of those up this weekend.  Friday night is date night, so we're headed to see a band that I really like called Southeast Engine.  Go give them a listen if you aren't familiar. 

Podcast Update: I have my first pre-recorded show still unfinished...but ALMOST finished.  All of my audio editing skills are coming back to me.  I just need to record a closer...its that last piece that I just haven't gotten around to.  I hope to soon.  I won't indicate any sort of deadline, because then I'll just screw that up.  I have a lot on my plate and I'll just say this: I will get there and soon.

More soon.  Over and out!

Reminiscing Freshman Year: 1998-1999

I'm having a lot of memories pop up as I'm getting ready for school for the fall semester.  Its different than last semester. Fall always drags out the nostalgia.  Its making me miss my MTSU friends like crazy.

I remember: 

1. That first day of band camp in the rehearsal hall with the drum line, where my confidence flew quickly out the window upon discovering that everyone played traditional...and really good.  

2. Sitting on the front stoop of Cummings Hall and watching my family drive away and not knowing how to feel.  

3. All the laughing I did with my good pals in the cymbal line and how little we actually read the music, opting instead for improvisation and flourishes…oh yeah, and hells of dancing.  

4. Seeing Josh's penis piercing and not really understanding how that could be pleasant for his girlfriend...I suppose I was really more amazed that I saw a penis than a piercing. 

5. Having an odd crush on the older guy in the bass drum-line who in retrospect was a major loser. I think he was like 27 or something.  Gross Molly, Gross. 

6. Sitting sober outside the dorm with Erin, eating fast food, being amazed with how easily and frequently she said the "f" word while watching upperclassmen bring the drunk freshman (with comically green-drunk faces) back to their dorm rooms from the Beaters and Wavers party.   

7. Cymbal line "practice" in Crystal's tiny apartment.  Pure shenanigans and laugh-crying (the fun kind).

8. That Jack Daniel's fruit punch thing that Maggie gave me.  

9. Meeting Lara for the first time while visiting Mags and being confused about the sacredness of clowning and being concerned that she didn't like me...because I sure liked her. I do believe that she was preoccupied by a douch-bag at the time.  

10. Many trips to the old library to use Frank, the DOS email system.   

11. My shitty 3-person overflow dorm room with the constant  parade of shitty room-mates and their shitty friends.  

12. Making out with this really odd blonde fella in the lobby of the dorm and thinking that there was too much tongue and that my face was too wet and just being completely embarrassed at being seen by the people walking by.  Ech.  

13. The way-too-old-to-be-a-Resident Assistant Murray-the-Hippy, walking or hitching with his pony tail, funky hat and bookbag (requisite pool stick hanging out) to The 'Boro to play pool. I'm positive now that he was ALWAYS HIGH.  

14. Walking with Erin to La Fiesta on one of those first weekends because mysteriously, anyone remotely local left town on Friday immediately following class or if they were lucky, Thursday night.  Murry, enroute to bar, stuck his head out the window of his ride and called me out as "West Virginia!".  

15. What was that green-yellow soda called, Volt?  Drinking way too much full sugar Coke-Cola and Volt.  Way too much, 30lbs-o-chunk-gained and yellow teeth too much. Know what I mean?  16. To this day, I still am not a big fan of mac-n-cheese thanks to too many in-room meals.  But I'd love to try microwaving cornbread or cake again sometime....pshhh hahahahaha.  

17. Being kidnapped by Crystal and driven to the far reaches of West TN for a slightly angst filled (yet totally fun) weekend with her family. I remember us driving to the grocery store to get VanCamps baked beans or pork n beans for Sunday supper.  Whichever it was, I got it flat wrong and I had to go back and exchange it.  I was so confused at the time at what in the hell the difference was and chocked it up to "it must be a TN thing".  There were many more of those moments in college. 

18. One hell of a weekend in the Smokey Mountains with Mags.  She took me every where.  We went to laser tag, Ripley's Haunted, Dollywood (I remember buying Castile soap), Dixie Stampede. It was wild.  

19. A generous ride to the airport on my way home for Thanksgiving by Amy and Crystal and listening to some new pop song ALL the way there.  That'd be Brittany Spears "Oops, I did it again" just for the record.  It was bad then and its bad now.  But the car ride was a hoot. 

20. Driving to West End Nashville with Mags one Friday night to get my nosed pierced.  I remember the guy who did it.  He had a dyed black hair, a ponytail, tight black jeans and a great sense of humor. He made lots of jokes about the Vandy girls who came in for their tramp stamps.  I miss that piercing. 

21. My bell bottoms, leather flip-flop thong sandals, and all my concert T's. 

22. Meeting Bruce in History of the Recording Industry, thanks to my trusty Van Halen shirt.  I also remember my digital metronome getting turned on by accident and the teacher walking around the room until he found it...IN MY BAG.  I couldn't even tell, thanks to my ears being blow out from Marching Band.  So embarrassing.  

23. The sound of nothing but the drumline, almost playing in unison, in a parking lot late at night.  I miss that sound.  But I still don't miss an asshole named Andy...or his Khaki pants.  But I do miss songs about his khaki pants.  Anyone have those somewhere?

24. Walking campus late at night and all alone with nothing but my Discman and the stillness of night to keep me company. 

25. Too many hours clocked on a charter bus.  

26. The annoying Snapple girl...she asked Erin to say "snapple" with her Cleveland accent. We all wanted her to die by the time we got home. 

27. Flirty boys who never made moves.  So annoying.  

28. Weird nights in weird hotels with many a drunk band member.  

29. My first trip to a catfish joint called Uncle Buds, wherein I witnessed someone order something called "Chicken Fried Steak" for the first time.  Serious culture shock, people. 
30. General adventures through the jungle of Murfreesboro...there were many.


I'm not sure where else to go with this...I just hope I keep remembering things and that you help me to do it. 

What do you remember?

Snuggle-Tears

Last night, during bath time with Bebe, she stopped playing and completely broke down in tears.  When I asked her why, she said it was because she missed her friends.  She named them, the two boys, and just cried and cried.  I pulled her out of the tub and wrapped her in her giant towel and tried to explain that she would see them first thing in the morning when we went to school.  She was fine after a while.  I know it was because she was really tired, she was plum-tard all evening.  Although we always have some snuggle time when she gets out of the tub, I had an excuse to hold and rock her for an extended time.  During snuggle-tears time, she said that it "broke my heart".  Of course, I had explained heartbreak earlier that evening, but its funny how quickly she picked it up. This is written weirdly, in short it was ridiculous and cute. 

Signs of Change

Notice anything different?

Gearing Up for Something

As much as I am a bit worn out from vacation last week, I'm also starting to feel a hint of renewal as well. I've been slowly unpacking and working through some laundry the last few days. Sunday, our first day back, Bebe and I went to Walmart to get some things that we just have needed but that I've been holding back on because of money troubles. I decided to eat it and just get them. I got a new hamper for laundry, a clothes line and clothes pins for the back yard (which us up and kick-ass), laundry basket and a dish rack/dryer thing for the kitchen (so sick of wet dishes sitting on towels on the counter for a week). This weekend I'm going to go back to shopping at Aldi for most items, a trip to Sam's Club for bulk essentials like toilet paper, frozen chicken breast and maybe some new underoos and socks for Mama (I love's me some microfiber granny panties).

School is about 3 weeks out and I'm trying to wrap up this stuff before its too late. Once school starts, time for other life things ends and I have come to terms with it. I've decided to kind of draw a line in the sand, if you will, in regards to what I’m willing to do for school. No extra curricular activities, no study groups (waste of time usually), no dinners, no bitch sessions. Its home, school, work; in that order, and nothing else. If I don't do it like that, it'll be like last semester and I'm not having any of that shit. I'd like to be able to enjoy my evenings & weekends at home with my kid, to go out to dinner with my betrothed, to live. I'm determined to work hard to make that happen.

I'm starting to feel sentimental about the seasons. Its funny because its not that old back-to-school shit, but it’s fall in general. Its coming and I'm excited about it for specific reasons: Bebe's birthday (3 years old! shit, time flies), Halloween, apple- and pumpkin-butter, fall festivals of all kinds, not sweating in my blue jeans and warm, spiced drinks. I just hope that we actually get to experience a nice fall season with leaves changing into beautiful colors instead of them just burning to a brown crisp and falling off the trees sometime in October.

*I've been pretty hard on my mom the last few days and I'd like to add a disclaimer, if anything, just to make myself feel better about all the brutal honesty. I love my mom and we do have a very good relationship. But the things that I have experienced with her over the last week were good and bad and toward the end of the week, it was more of the bad from my perspective. I want nothing more than for her to be genuinely happy and healthy. On that note, have a great week!

I'm Back

We made it back safe and sound. I've detailed the experience on last night's show, go have a listen.

And have a nice day, damn-it.

Love,
Molly