Love Luvs

This morning on the way in, I splurged and got a piping hot coffee from Starschmucks. As I was getting out of my car I grabbed the cup, but sadly only caught the lid and ended up pouring about a third of it onto my car seat. Luckily I didn’t get it on my white shirt too. I immediately realized that I had cleaned out the car the previous evening and didn’t think I had anything absorbent to clean up the coffee with. But then I remembered I had a stash of diapers and wipes in the pocket on the back of the driver’s side seat. Oh yeah. I soaked up the coffee with a diaper and then cleaned up the rest with a few wipes. It worked really well. I am a genius. And a big thanks to Luvs diapers for their comfort and excellent absorption!

Disclosure: I want to express that I really do know how lucky I am and that my problems pale in comparison to those I witness every day in the cancer center. But that doesn’t diminish the fact that my problems are real and relative to me and my family. Although I might have expressed anger towards some, I wish them no ill will. It was good just to vent a bit yesterday. That is all.

Running the Numbers

I’m frustrated and bored and feel the need to vent. I’m not trying to be negative, I’m just a little overwhelmed at the moment.

I’ve been in this job for about 9 months now and my responsibilities haven’t really increased. This has resulted in days where I have lots of things to do and days like today where I feel stir-crazy, useless, and bored out of my skull (that’s my favorite new way to describe boredom). This lack of work activity results in me spinning my wheels on things that aren’t important, I won’t go into the details here. It’s just not good. I also feel the need to get the hell out of dodge. The mere idea of moving away from here seems to make me think that will solve all of our problems. And we all know that isn’t a proven treatment for anyone. Here’s my short list of said problems:

1. Back in February, my husband’s hours got cut from 40 to 28 a week due to the now typical departmental cutbacks here at Large University. We hadn’t really felt this cut back until about April. That’s when all of our cars went to Shit City. We had to throw a ton of money into repairs, tows and eventually a new car. Poo poo poo. He’s looking for work, but if you live anywhere in this country, you know what a daunting task it is to find work in any field but nursing…and sometimes nursing.

2. During this period of time I was taking the Four Hours in the Evening right after 8 hours on the job with no chance to see my kid until morning Nurse Aid Class which almost killed me and my marriage. My husband was amazing during this period of time, so huge props to him for taking extra care of baby and for keeping me sane.

3. I’m in this job that is sadly starting to crush my soul. I’m paid the same amount of money I made previously (which is good), am referred to as a “secretary” or “receptionist” and do much, much less. I should be happy about that right? Nope, I have less purpose and drive now than I did working for the psycho. It might be time for a heart to heart with the boss.

4. Someone that I considered a good friend (although not a super close friend due to this person’s own trust issues) essentially broke up with me on his mother fucking blog. Not even the common courtesy to email, call or have lunch with me. It wasn’t lack of interest, concern or love that you haven’t heard from me, Number 4. I HAVE BEEN BUSY WITH LIFE WHICH HAS BEEN SHIT- KICKING MY ASS! Doesn’t mean I don’t wanna hang out, go see a cheesy movie or watch True Blood reruns with you sometime. You could call me or something. Gingers are forever. That is all.

5. Here’s one that number 4 will appreciate. We have someone here in my department who I get along with fine but who I’ve always heard non-specific rumors about in my previous life in HR. I was invited to participate in a committee for our website and how to make it better. I was actually pretty excited about it. It’s something I genuinely have experience in, I love editing, etc. So I get this annoying email today, basically outlining my role as “administrative assistant” for the team. What I get from this email is that I won’t really be an active participant, but the person in charge of recording minutes. He even took the time to define what an action item is. It was the most condescending email I’ve gotten in a long time. My friend said that he needed a kick in the taint or a taint-kicking. I can’t type that and not laugh. The end.

6. Monies suck. I hate money, especially when you need it. With my husband’s 30% hour cut-back, we’re still in the black, but we border on red almost every month. It sucks hard core. I get paid tomorrow and I already know where almost every penny will go over the next week, leaving us kind of lean the following week: mortgage, day care, groceries, diapers, dog food. The doggies are way over due for their check-ups and immunizations, but I know what that will cost when I go (atleast $150 per dog) and I can’t afford to pay for that right now. And I feel HORRIBLE about it.

I really want to hand this over to God and let it go and enjoy life. But I don’t believe in god, so that doesn’t quite work for me. Here’s what I do know: I know that no matter what, if we need help we can get it. I do enjoy every minute I spend with my baby, we have so much fun together. And I would like some more one on one time with my old man, but with the price of baby sitters and movie tickets, we’ll just have to make do with date nights at home with Red Box and take out.

And now, number 5 is standing at my desk and I need to escape. Have a great Memorial Day weekend. Thanks for listening.

Love,

Molly

Movin' On and Movin' Up

I had a blast last week with my mom and sister. And hey, life wouldn't be fun with out a little Mom-Sister drama. But they worked through it and off we went for a wonderful visit. The weekend was nice and quiet. We busted out the baby pool, or "bubble" as baby likes to call it, and had a big old time. I bet we'll be in the bubble most of next weekend too.

I get another long weekend this weekend for Memorial day. We're going on a day trip to Cincinnati for some Trader Joe's goodies. Might even splurge and go to Cheesecake Factory for lunch. Thats always soooooo good. The down side of that is that they take forever to get your food to you, so we'll probably end up at something more baby friendly.

Here's to you having a nice long, fabulous weekend.
Cheers,
Molly

Prep

This weekend we spent our spare time resting, playing and cleaning the house for company. I also got some art and photos on the walls so it looks like we live here instead of just temporary hat hanging. The living room feels so much warmer. Now I need to get some more pictures printed so I can finish a few walls up. Meh, another project.

Little Sister is flying up for the week this afternoon. We are sooooo excited. This week also marks her 23rd birthday. Everytime I think about her birthday, there's always a little guilt in there because I missed so many the last 12 years or so, since leaving for college. Also, I've been wanting to take her away to Vegas for the ultimate birthday weekend, but alas, life prevails and has prevented us thus far. We'll get there eventually...and we'll take plenty of incriminating pictures when we do.

I've planned most of the meals for the week including a few classic deserts that should please the palate. Tonight I'll work on one of her fav's, Jello cake. Its basically a vanilla cake mix, baked, then you take a fork and poke holes all over it and pour in still liquid jello. Then it sets in the fridge over night. The next day its ready for cool whip and sliced berries for the top. I'm using our favorite: white cake mix with strawberry jello and strawberries on top. Baby is going to flip over that one. She should love it. I've been making this cake for years and it is always a hit. I found the recipe in one of my mom's Country Livings when I was a kid. Later in the week we'll do a berry crisp with vanilla ice cream on top. Kill-er.

I've got most of the meals planned for the week: We're having soft-shell chicken tacos, beef & veggie kabobs on the grill, and birthday girl sushi (crab and crunchy shrimp rolls). I'll have to find a really fancy birthday hat tonight when I make a mad dash to Walmart for a few items (one being a curtain rod for the guest shower....because I'm a dumb-dumb).

On Friday night, I'll have to see if she's interested in escaping to go to the Drive-in or just going out for a night on the town with her big, nerdy sister.

Have a great week,
Molly

Lessons and Nostalgia at the Drive-In

Last May my husband and I took our sweet 9 month old baby to the Sky View Drive-in, way out in the country in the neighboring country. We were under the illusion that we could drive out there around her bed time and that she'd just fall asleep uneventfully. When we pulled up to the ticket booth we quickly learned that they, unlike the rest of the world, hadn't adapted to debit card use. We then had to drive 5 minutes back down the road to a little gas station that had an ATM machine. Of course, when we got there, the attendant told us that it was out of order. My husband ended up having to purchase something so he could get some gas. Back down the road to the drive-in we went. When we arrived, back at the ticket booth, they asked us how many we had, told us the rules (no outside food, which we absolutely had) and which side we should go to for our selected movie (there were two screens. I was very worried I'd be distracted by the other movie...because I'm a nerd. I got over it). So we drove on the gravel path that trailed along side the rows of grassy field that made up the drive-in. Rows of grass, interspersed by gravel paths and the familiar poles, sticking out of the ground with a few actual speakers (that aren't really used because you listen on your radio). One screen backed up to the road and the other against some trees in the opposite direction; this was our screen. In the middle of this field was a cinderblock building that made up the concession stand and bathrooms. There were some odd looking attendants that directed folks were to park based on the size of the vehicle. We had the SUV so we ended up in the last row. Once we got parked we attempted to very sneakily eat our illegal outside food. My dish ended up really sucking.

So I attempted to get the baby to relax, in vein. She eventually passed out about 15 or so minutes before the movie started, just enough time for me to run to the restroom, grab something sweet from the concession stand and get back in time fore StarTrek to start. The only thing that had changed about this building over the last 25 years was probably the annual fresh layer of paint on the outside. I want to think it was peach or yellow in color. I walked around to the women's side and when I walked in I was immediately teleported back to 1985 (cue The Cars - You Might Think). The bathroom was clean, but completely old school. One wall had a row of bathroom stalls, on the opposite wall was a row of white sinks. Above the sinks was a long mirror that spanned the length of the wall. Between the sinks and mirror was a skinny formica counter. I think it was either gold or yellow with glitter mixed into the plastic coating. That kind of thing takes me back. I could see them; a line of teenage girls pressed up against the mirror, combing or teasing their hair and applying Wet'n'Wild super shiney, cherry flavored lipgloss and blue eye shadow, talking about how they were going to "do it." Plastic bangles, polka dots, saddle shoes, bangs, PJ Soles, Joey Ramone and Nightmare on Elmstreet. I was just a kid in the 80s, not a high schooler, but I wanted to be (and always felt) older and relished growing up in that time period. It was fun to go back for a few seconds. When I stepped back outside, I teleported back to 2009 and headed around the building to concessions. I paid $5 for a pounder of Reece's Pieces with no regrets.

Here are the lessons we learned about going to the drive-in:
1. Bring cash - Most Drive-ins are old school in the most literal/annoying sense.
2. Don't go too early - Yeah, you'll get a good spot, but you'll also be waiting until it gets dark enough for the movie to start. For an hour and a half, I kept thinking "any minute now, they'll start with some previews". Just look online if you need a good definition for "dusk" in your area.
3. Be wary of your neighbors - We ended up next to an extended cab truck with tinted windows. Lets just say they spent the beginning of the movie with the windows almost all the way up, a'rockin. Then they spent the rest of their time smoking, their second hand smoke billowing into our windows.
4. Bringing Baby - Take supplies (toys, diapers, food, milk). Just because its bedtime doesn't mean baby will go right to sleep.
5. Food - Totally sneak food and drinks in. Just because its old school...doesn't mean old school concession prices. This also makes for a bit of sport or a cheap thrill (or a nerdy thrill, but what'evs).


Burnin' down the house,
Molly

Things I Don't Want to Forget - Part 1

- Listening to my little purple boom-box on the front stoop of my house on sunny summer days, fall evenings after school, wondering what it would be like to be a grown up. And I'm still trying to figure this out.

- My pink alarm clock. I had this from grade school until I loaned it to someone my freshman year of college. I still miss it.

- Having to do nothing but enjoy the ride as my family drove through the mountains on our way to the beach every summer. And the constant stream of music that I always listened to. It was always the same, but with the occasional addition.
Live - Throwing Copper
U2 - Joshua Tree, Boy
Duran Duran - Wedding Album
Adam Ant - Wonderful
The Black Crowes - Southern Harmony and Musical Companion
Too Much Joy - Cereal Killers
There's more, but I'm starting to forget...

- Driving by myself to Nashville at the age of 19 to go see George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic. Everyone was super nice. I wish I had stayed longer and had a drink. I wore this gray dress that zipped up the front and had a hood and my big black boots. That night was the bomb shiz.

- Driving to ICON in Nashville with Maggie and co. twice to get things pierced. 1 nostril. 1 undisclosed. If I ever decide on a tatoo, I'll go there.

- My first job in college: computer lab attendant. And Steven...Steven, Steven, Steven. Thanks for the Heineken and making me watch Rushmore.

- All the boys I've had painful, monster crushes on that still pass through the old brain once in a while.

- The phone calls I got from France in the middle of the night my sophomore year in college and all those letters I wrote but never sent. My life would be very different right now if I had. Just different.

- Laying on the roof of my dorm at night and listening to Rolling Stones Rock and Roll Circus on my discman. Thanks, Erin, for the musical enlightenment.

- All the important things I was able to achieve without a roommate the second semester of my sophomore year. Many thank you's to Maria de Medeiros. Amen.

- Confusing, frustrating, and beautiful weeks spent at Baptist Camp in Cowan, WV.

- The surreal dream I had while napping one afternoon in college. In the dream I was sitting around a campfire with some friends and some sort of spiritual leader came out and caused a bright light to wash over and into us. It felt like being hugged and lifted up with a warm, powerful force. Of course I woke up right after that. I tried to go back to sleep into the dream, but I couldn't. I don't think it meant anything, but it sure felt good.

- My hot-pink/clear/sparkly jelly shoes. I lost one while walking in the water at the beach on evening when i was 7. Those were my favorite jellies of all time. I don't remember many details about that vacation. It was a joint vacation with my mom's sister and her family at Duck, NC. We stayed in a big house a short walk from the ocean. The one thing I do remember is sharing a room downstairs with my cousins and having a dream about one of them dying and then her ghost walking around the house leaving these dripping, glowing foot prints. I was haunted by that dream all week...and kind of still am.

- The day I met my husband and how I already knew him. And how I knew I would marry him. I was wearing bell bottoms and he was wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a smile.

- The kindness of the people I worked with on my very first job after college and the gift they gave me of a shopping spree for some work clothes. They gave like $400 and one of the office ladies took me for a day at the mall. Love her for that. This job made me polished and ready for the next job in a scary corporate environment. Now that job, that job I hated.

- Driving from Middle Tennessee to East Tennessee and back again with James. A hoot it was. A hootenanny, even.

- The moments I realize how much I appreciate my KY friends. I've made some fine, fine friends here.