Musical Time Travel

When it comes to music, I tend to find something I really like and then over do it for a while. Then I stop listening to that for a few years because I can no longer stand it. I've burnt my self out on it. For example, in high school, I was in deep for U2.  I was madly in love. I had every album. I listened to every album.  They could do no wrong. Then I went to college. I would walk by myself all over campus in the middle of the night with my diskman (a giant contraption by today's standards) listening over and over again to that Best of the B-Sides album. However, one day, I could listen no more. That lasted until about this year, which was 1999-2013, just to help you with the math. I can finally, in small doses, listen to my once favorite band. The band that changed the trajectory of my life. The band that lead me to this place, right here and now. Their music takes me back to the 13 year old girl, stowed away in her room, listening to Achtung Baby!, and for the first time having a tearful reaction to a song, Wild Horses. I knew right then and there that I had to do something music related. 

Today I was at the library and came across a Fiest album. Fiest is someone I was listening to the year my baby was born. When I put the CD in my car and the music came on, it took me back immediately. It took me back to that dreamy young woman, driving to Cincinnati to look for cool nursery decorations at antique malls and Old Time Pottery. A girl dreaming of what it would be like to finally be a mother. It also hit home just how much I want a second baby. I have an amazing child, so perfect and full of love,  and she deserves to have a life that includes a sibling. Someone to roll her eyes with when her mom and dad are not being cool and someone to help make important decisions with regarding our end of life care. She needs it. I see it more and more every day. She asks for it once in a while. One way or another, I am going to make it happen for my girl. Now, I just have to talk my old man into it.

Do you experience musical time travel? Tell me all about it.

I don't know what to call this post.

It's been a while. How ya been? Howsyamama?

Lets catch up. The last time we met I had sworn off the internet. I had nothing left to say. I was about to enter my final and most difficult year of nursing school. I was coming down from a somewhat let-down vacation. I was flat broke. You know, life stuff.

Well, I graduated from nursing school in May and successfully passed the NCLEX.  Not long after that I got the job I wanted, a great new grad nursing position in oncology at a highly respected cancer center. I can't tell you much about being a nurse and that's OK. What I can tell you is that nursing is fucking hard. Every nurse I've ever met says that first year of nursing is hell. I usually don't sleep much the night before a shift because I am anxious about it. I am anxious about the level of stress involved, about having to make decisions and trying to keep incredibly immune suppressed people on the right side of the teeter-totter. It is a tough job, but it is what I am supposed to do and my heart knows it. It knows it hard.

As far as all that other shit goes, here's the sweet and skinny version. I still hate facebook, but its where everyone I know and love is. Its annoying, but I can see baby pictures and say Happy Birthday and know what in the hell is happening in peoples lives. I've shut down tumbler and retired from podcasting.  Twitter is happening, but only a personal account, nothing associated with this blog. I just want to continue to try to unfold myself from these stressful years.  I wanna do shit like sleep and go to the library.  I mean, I've lived in this town for 7 years and I've not even been to a horse race, let alone the Kentucky Derby. Hell, I've not even been to a Derby party. It is time to channel my inner whatevers and live like a whatever. 

Now, about this blog. In the end, I need an outlet to get out some of these things on my chest and just do some fun writing. There's no place I'd rather do that very thing that right here.

Same Ocean, Different Beach

We had a great week at Edisto Beach.  Its a sweet little island in South Carolina.  No hustle and bustle, just families, beach houses and ocean. The actual beach sucked because the beach it self was super short, meaning we were cramped with everyone else on the beach, and the sand was super saturated and shell-covered as hell, resulting no non-optimal beach strolling conditions.  But it had a great bike path all the way around the island and tons of trees and foliage, especially those big cypress trees with the hanging moss.  I took pics on the old Canon A-1, keeping my fingers crossed that they turned out alright.  The food was amazing, but I did not get enough boiled peanuts (my own damn fault).

We had a rainy yet beautiful drive back to Kentucky.  Whats not to love about driving through the Smokey Mountains?  You can't turn around and not see lush green jutting toward the sky. One of these days, we are just going there to vacation. As is expected, I had a  little time to reflect and get some perspective.  Vacation is my new years as far as those things go.  The result is that I feel like I'm too tied into the internet.  I really don't know what to do with myself here anymore.  I know I have some things I want to journal and say but I don't think it makes sense to do it so publicly.  I have even started the process of eliminating myself from Facebook, a challenge that I'm sure just about anyone can relate to. Facebook is something I used to revel in, but I don't get anything out of it but that constant pull to see if anyone sees me.  People just post random shit that I couldn't care less about.  I have over 200 friends, but I only want to hear from about 30 of them.  I know damn well that I could hide everyone, but there's still the issue of my personal damn business out there that makes me nuts, along with the pull of not being present in the world and the ability to just fucking looking up and out once in a while.  All I see when I walk around any public place is people looking down at the their screens and for what purpose? 

When I was a kid on vacation, some of the best parts of the trip were listing to my walkman/discman, reading a book and just looking out the window at the scenery. We drove through mountains, big cities, long bridges and rural beach towns to get to our vacation spots.  My parents took me to various spots on the Outer Banks like Kill Devil Hills to fly kites and for my dad to fly over the dunes and jet ski the sound.  And there's also Nags Head, Kitty Hawk, Avon, Duck, Sunset Beach and Pawleys Island, SC.  They are all treasured memories, even the bad parts.  I'm lucky to have had such wonderfully adventurous parents.  They gave me a world that filled my imagination...an imagination, dreams that are all still fresh in my brain but may be slipping away to make room for all the junk I have been filling it with via the internet.

The result of all of this pondering: I'm pulling out for now.  I don't think I add anything of use to anyone here on this blog for the time being.  At the end of this week, if I haven't changed my mind, I'm going to click the "un-publish" button in blogger.  I'm also going to turn off everything else as well: my old blog Funny Farm, Facebook, tumblr, LinkedIn, podcastin stuff and Twitter. 

I wonder how much brain power and time I'm giving myself.  Maybe that'll be my first post on the next chapter of this or a new blog. In the mean time, put your phone down and look up once in a while, would ya?

Until we meet again, 
Live long and prosper,
Molly

Some Thoughts for Friday

Since I don't have time to record this for the podcast, I'm going to type out these most urgent thoughts for the day: 

1. Scientology is a religion thing created by a science fiction author.  Science. Fiction.

2. Tipper Gore, Democrat or not, can still suck my dick over this and I don't care that she's dating (Damnit, DailyBeast. Stop it.).

3. This is the kind of week that makes me think I can accomplish all of my dreams, far reaching as they may seem.

4. Andy Griffith/Taylor/Matlock was a wonderful man.  I don't' know what his politics were and I don't plan on researching them.  He brought some special things to the arts and I will always treasure him for it.

5. Awkward 12-year-olds can be assholes too, well meaning as they may think they are.  I schooled one at the mall yesterday and it felt kind of good.

6. Facebook continues to be a massive waste of time and I continue to want to break up with it. But breaking the addiction of social media is very, very difficult. 

7. I'm also thinking about shutting down this blog and, after archiving the posts, deleting it forever.  I feel the need to try to take some sort of control over my internet presence, but I'm not completely sure its possible.

Food for thought.  Now, time to go get my kid and load up the car.  Vacation is 14 hours away.

 

Molly's Guide to Vacation Travel Prep

My name is Molly and I love vacation.  I'm now going to provide in gory detail all the things I'm doing to get ready and provide some friendly advice for vacation that may talk you into making an adventure for yourself.


We are looking at a good 10-12 hours in the car in one day with myself, my husband and a 3 year old.  Planning is muy importante! Here's how I'm rocking out this year.

Mental Prep.  Sometimes its hard to separate from the problems of life when we go on vacation.  I'm attempting to plan ahead in this regard. Here's how:

• Get the bills payed early so they aren't hounding you while gone or when you get back.
• Finish up big projects at work or establish a good stopping point, either way, leave it at work. No checking/responding to work emails.  Period.
• Clean your house: Nothing worse than coming home to a dirty house after a likely long journey.  We have house guests while gone, so it will be half dirty, half clean.  Oh well, can't complain with all the free dog sitting, which is a savings of about $500.
• Don't take an online class during your vacation.  Because it sucks.

Car and Travel Prep. In essence, hunting & gathering:

• Scrub out your car, inside and out.  Its very important to make sure the inside of your windows are clean.  They can get scuzzy and hinder your view, especially at night.  Your car is going to be a hot mess when you get back, but at least for the first leg of your journey, it will feel, look, smell good and you'll be able to see. 
• Plan & purchase your road food: This year, we are not eating out as much as we can help it.  I'm packing a loaf of good bread, lunch meat, cheese and condiments.  I might even throw in some pimento cheese. I'll make some sort of potato or broccoli salad. Apples, baby carrots, fruit leathers, water, cokes, juice boxes and maybe some homemade party mix or granola. Utensils, paper towels and many, many wet wipes.
• Kid stuff: Crayons, markers, coloring books/pages, movies, kid apps on the iPad, books, a few baby dolls, snuggle blanket, pillow...that should do it. 
• Adult stuff: I'm loading up the iPod with music (mine and my husbands), some podcasts, books and magazines and both digital and analog cameras to capture the amazing views and my adorable kid. 
• Navigation:  We don't have a fancy navigation device and I don't have a data plan for the iPad, so I'll be printing this info on paper.  Its so easy to make some maps on the computer with all of our travel info included.  I'm going to make a little booklet or three ring binder so we aren't fumbling with 15 sheets of paper.  and constantly wonder where we put it. 

What kind of vacationer are you? Once you get to your vacation destination, the rest is really up to you.  I've learned over the years that there are really two kinds of vacationers: those who chill and those who need constant activities. We are chillers through and through.  If my parents have taught me anything, its how to slow it down and relax while you can because when you go back, it all cranks right back up again.

Next up, I tell y'all how I'm packing the car.

Appalachian T-Bone!

Its almost time to hit the Holiday Road, yet again!  If you've been reading this blog for any period of time, you can glean that I love vacation and road trips (and writing monotonously about it).  If you've been around since this time last year, you also know that last year's vacation wasn't so great.  My husband and I were so very depressed.  He was out of work, we were poor (we still are, but much less) and he and I weren't relating all that well.  My mom and dad gifted us some money and we were able to go, barely.    Little did I know at the time, my dad was going through a major depression and lack of employment as well, and my poor mama was trying to lift up everyone on her own.

Does that suck?  It sucks hard core.

Things have been looking up with a few exceptions.  First of all, I have the most amazing 3 year old a girl could ask for.  My husband, with some great persistence, got a full time job.  It pays decent and has benefits, amen.  He also started a band that is gaining popularity in the indie music scene.  My father, a contractor, got a good gig installing Pella Windows.  He doesn't even have to find the jobs, they find Pella, Pella calls dad.  He was also able to pay off a big tax bill that he's been diligently and painfully paying off for a few years.  Its a major relief for him and will allow him to have some spending cash for the first time in a very long while. The exceptions to all of this are as follows (I'll keep it short): The two hardest semesters of school I've ever experienced, the declining health of my grandparents and the stress my parents have taken on in caring for all of them, depleting any time they may have had for their own personal interests.  Caring for the old people is part of life and I know my sister and I will get our turn.  Its just tough seeing my middle aged parents under so much stress at a time in their lives when they should be playing. 

So, we're now gearing up for vacation and all we can do is hope and pray everyone keeps it together enough for us to get through the week with no disappointing events back at home.  If for any other reason, my parents really fucking need it.

I have had so many great post ideas this week...

But they have all slipped away from my mind.  I usually think of them in the car on the way home from work in the evening, I need to keep my pen and notepad out so I can jot them down. 

 Dang.   I'm so sad that this thought gets its a solo post.

Been Climbin' Out.

I've been spending the last two weeks digging myself out of a hole that I fell in this past fall and it was way deeper than I knew.  For a few days there after summer school ended, it really felt like I'd been gone for a long time and that I needed to get used to being home again.  But not in a fun, post-vacation kind of way.

I'm actually doing things again.  What things, you ask?  Things like cook dinner, watching a lot of TV, exercise, sewing, talking to old friends that I've missed dearly, visiting my family, laughing, playing with the monkey, sleeping, having a drink, day dreaming, taking care of the house, keeping up with the laundry.  These things don't seem that exciting, but when you are consumed by stress of many colors, you forget.

In all of the things I've listed above, there's a few still missing that I'm just not ready for yet: reading books and being more active on my blog/podcast.  I just don't have it in me at the moment, but I'm getting closer.  I guess my tank is empty and needs to be re-filled with experiences, hugs, laughter and contemplation. 

Sadly, I must report that the great Appalachian Roundabout of 2012 won't be happening this summer as far as I know.  The timing is off a bit with Baby Sister's WV visit, which is perfectly fine.  She's off with the Baptists at camp deep in the mountains of WV getting her own personal reboot. I might see if I can talk her in to coming down to KY for a few days next week just to play.  In about two weeks, we head off to the beach in SC.  Its a new place and we're getting excited.  You know me, I love the drive and the sites and the ocean.  Maybe I'll use vacation as my Appalachian Roundabout instead...but I may have to rename it Appalachian T-Bone instead.  I'm just excited to be back in a place where they make fresh boiled peanuts and baby crabs occasionally pinch your toes.  I must see about growing my own peanuts in KY.  Or, well, you know, move east!

Love,
Molly

Little Old White Haired Ladies

Long weekend back in the holler in WV.  Got home Friday evening to find Mom across the yard at the grandparents' house.  My mom is a saint, just for the record.  She takes care of everyone.  Grandpa had low blood pressure, ended up in the hospital on Saturday morning.  He has pneumonia and no lungs to fight it with. I'm going to try to stay positive for mom and dad. Grandma has Alzheimer's and really counts on grandpa to be there as her cornerstone.  I think its how she makes connections. His loss will be tough on her.

All these old boys are passing on leaving a slew of little old white haired ladies.  For a while, they'll have to keep each other company.  That just seems to be how it goes.  And as they pass on or their personalities change, my memories of those times long ago are shifting into a big pile that I have a hard time sorting through. Of course I have to make room for new memories, for my kid.  I am making peace with that because all of what was is a big part of who I am now and what she will be.

I thought I'd be fine after a good night's sleep, but alas I'm more beat up from this weekend than I thought.  But I won't complain too much.  After a full two days of taking care of things with Grandpa, my mom had to go to her mom's house and give her a bath.  Saint.
 

Class Act

It is done. Summer shall now begin.

All those things I've been yacking about, I'mma do now. All that extra brain space can be utilized for writing, traveling, watching TV and drinkin'. And exercise too, of course.

 I'm gonna yuck it up real good.


I think I might even throw a cigar in there too. But just one.  Because I'm a classy bitch.