* Fair warning, somewhat graphic/gross tale below. You've been warned.
Dedicated to James and baby sister.
Yesterday, as I was heating up my lunch, I felt the urge to use the rest room. I thought it would be just a quick pee, but alas, there was a little poop. And it wasn't my normal "almost no wipe giant poop of perfection" either; it was a little messy one. Someone was waiting to use the microwave after me, so I felt a tad rushed. I wiped, washed and then grabbed my food. After eating at my desk, I stood up to go wash my dishes and hands. However, when I stood up, I felt my underwear sticking to my bottom with what felt like a bit of glue. No one was around so I pulled at my ass as if to pull a weggie from deep within. Thats when I knew it wasn't glue...it was poop. I went to the bathroom to see how bad it was. When I got my pants down, I had a lovely smashed terd slightly embedded into my underpants. And it was super stinky! I then had to assess the damage on my bottom. I was a mess up my backside. I did the best I could to clean everything with dry toilet paper. Then I pulled my pants up and went out of the stall to get some warm, wet paper towels. Thankfully my underpants are all microfiber and I was able to almost completely get the poo out of my undies, including the massive stink. Then I carefully washed my bottom. I was able to keep my "shit" together about it and marched from the bathroom with dignity.
The end.
No comments:
Post a Comment