Douche-Nozzle Confirmation

And just to prove my point, I received the below email this morning...which made me wretch. Please note that names have been changed to protect the innocent (and non-innocent).

Respected Ms. Blogger

I hope this message finds you well. I am writing to request your assistance with a letter of recommendation. If you would be so kind as to support my application, kindly address the below listed criteria for awards in your letter.

Criteria:
i) Demonstrated excellence in the conduct of original research in oncology
ii) Academic performance and credentials
iii) Medical aptitude
iv) Plans for a career in academic medicine
v) Demonstrated leadership among peers

I have attached my vita for your viewing pleasure.

Upon completion, please make two separate copies of the letter, one entitled "Douche Canadian - Something Something General Scholarship Award Letter" and another titled "Douche Canadian - Something More Specific Scholarship Award Letter." Both letters can be sent to Ms. Innocent at your earliest convenience.

Please let me know if I can provide any other information.

Warm Regards
Yours sincerely,
Douche Canadian

Now, lets cover a few items: Yeah, I'm going to do it because I have to. Technically the letters would be from the boss. But all I'm really going to do is reformat a letter previously written and have him sign off. And yeah, he's trying to be cutesy with me. But I didn't acknowledge any of that. I sent a curt response about a deadline and that I would inform him upon its completion. A month ago I would have fretted about the letter and would have sent him multiple cutesy emails in response. I think he thinks he has me (because technically...he did for a while). Does that make sense? I'm relieved that is all behind me. Two themes come to mind: "growing up is hard to do" and "I'm too old for this bull-shit". Maple sucker.

Next up, something way more fun: a Love Letter (but to whom?)