A List.

I read a really great post over at My Sister's Farmhouse about outing yourself as an atheist (and the potential consequences) and about blogging honestly. How much do we as bloggers really leave out for the sake of entertainment or for the illusion that we are perfect mothers or whatever?

On that note, I'm posting a list of things about me that is honest. I'm not trying to shape your opinion of me or try to get you to like me. This is just me.

1. I am almost positive that I am an atheist.
2. I listen to Christmas music starting in mid September.
3. I wish I was the size I was the summer before I got pregnant but would settle for just being one size smaller than now. My sister in law is giving me clothes that she doesn't fit in because she just lost a bunch of weight. I hate it. Its a constant reminder that I haven't lost weight despite multiple efforts. I'm joined a gym this week.
4. I really want to have more alone time in the evenings.
5. I am very stressed about money right now. The thought of having to take out a loan to cover part of the cost of living while I am in school makes panic and almost abandon the idea of going to school.
6. In my heart, I'm torn between the idea of living comfortably in the burbs/city or moving into a smaller cabin on the edge of civilization...someday.
7. My husband declared today that he doesn't want to have another kid. I still really, really do.
8. I don't want to work today. I don't ever really want to work.
9. I wish everyone I love could live in one town.
10. I am scared that my husband won't get his thesis finished soon enough and panic at the idea of him going back to school right after I finish.
11. I am starting to let go of some of those regrets about not having done certain things in life.
12. I really would like to convert to Judaism...but I could never give up Christmas.
13. The whole turning 30 thing has about worn off. It still sounds a big foreign when I say or write it, but that will pass too. I turn 31 in three months.

Thats enough. Its all a big negative and I try to keep this blog geared towards the positive for the most part, so no more of that for a while if I can help it!

Next up: thoughts on the coming holidays.