Its time yet again for a year in review. I'd go through last years, but I'm afraid I'd throw up. I'd go through this year's resolutions....also afraid I'll throw up. Hold on, I'ma need some tea for this... Ok, I have tea and have apparently blown another 10 minutes surfing the interwebs. I'm an addict, what can I say. Lets do a year in review, hopefully in the least douchey way possible.
Going home for the holidays is tough and wonderful. I love my
family, flaws and all. I actually enjoyed myself and relaxed a bit this
year which is something I tend to forget how to do on vacations. Hell, I even went to a Christmas Eve music service with my cousin and aunt (baby sister sang). Things will likely be different next year and the grandparents are getting older and that's hard to process too. The Bad: Personally, this was one of the hardest years of my life. In January, I started Nursing school full time, held down a more than part time job and attempted to keep a sane home life. In April, my husband lost his job like so many other talented and educated individuals in this country. We are borderline broke on a weekly basis. My marriage has suffered greatly. I lost countless hours with my daughter. We have a car that is officially in the shop because we've run it into the ground. Our downstairs furnace is broken. Our parents have had to loan us money on various occasions. I almost quit nursing school this summer, talked myself into sticking it through and ended up having an even tougher semester. I don't know how next year could possibly be worse money-wise, but it very well could be worse. I feel like I'm up to my eyeballs in sticky situations.
The Odd: I got some of my religion back recently. I don't feel Jesus in my heart, but I had to give all of my stress and sadness to something other than my family and mama can't really afford a therapist at the moment. I just put my head down on my desk before a test one day and I just prayed. I didn't pray to anyone or thing in particular, but I just prayed to whomever was listening. I kind of just cleared my mind and let it all go. It was great. I'm not saying its going to cure me of my stress and problems in life, but its not a bad thing to throw out once in a while.
Decisions: Every year I make more grandiose plans than in the year before. Its exhausting but it kind of takes over my brain on Dec. 26th. This year Mama is cleaning house. I'm selling my fancy coffee maker. It makes me incredibly sad and happy all at the same time and should free up about $150 that will likely go toward bills. I'm also selling a wooden cradle I bought when I was pregnant for Petite Bebe's room which we have never used to make space for her new toys from Santa. A few days ago I had the house to myself and I spent most of the day outside ripping out the weeds and little tree sprouts taking over my backyard and started prepping for some serious gardening and chicken farming. If we are going to survive another year and a half of me in school, I need to get creative. Hell, last night I moved my desk into our big walk-in closet so I could stay up late studying and not bother anyone.
Also of note: I turned 32 this week and I'm apparently not getting any younger, but I'm trying to get wiser. Here's hoping:
- That 2012 brings some happiness (or at least some peace of mind) to lots of people who are struggling in life
- That our politicians (including my beloved President) can pull their heads out of their collective asses and figure out how fix some shit.
- That you will read a few books
- That my generation (Generation X) can figure out what it means to "buckle down"
Molly Jane
