Aid - Part Deux

This class is continually interesting and we are increasing the amount of difficulty. The things we are learning to do will require us getting over our own issues with the words “gross” and “super private”. This is a part of nursing no matter what position you hold, so deal with it. People have to use the restroom, people must be bathed, have their hair washed, be given massages, etc. etc.
I am officially the teacher’s pet, which is ok by me. I usually either get to act as “supervisor” or I work with Lucy and help her with her translation when it comes to practicing our skills. Every time she tells us to pair up her head darts my direction as fast as lightening. I absolutely love working with her because she is so earnest and just dives right in. I think she likes me because I seem to understand what’s going on and am patient with her. We tear each step apart word by word and step by step, which is turning out to be very helpful to me.

Last night proved that my evening habits are starting to really kick me in the ass. I was really crashing in class, probably around 7PM, so I decided to run upstairs and grab a diet coke (note: a 20 oz. diet coke). That sort of held me over until the end. When class was over I reached in my pocket for my keys…no keys. I tore my bookbag apart looking for them. No keys. I decided I’d walk back across the street to check in the office. I have a card key to get in the building…but no keys to get into the office. Luckily on this night I had my cellular phone and called hospital security, who was able to send someone over to let me in. This added an unnecessary 30 minutes onto my day. I was home by 10. Of course, I was exhausted but still had to get some study time in before my test. I managed to get into bed around 11:40. However, although my body was absolutely exhausted, my heart was racing thanks to the 20 OZ DIET COKE that I just haaaad to ingest during class for survival. I had the knee bouncy thing going, heart pounding away, brain working overtime. I ended up taking two, count ‘em, two shots of vodka to try to slow everything down. I tossed for a while but eventually drifted off. I may have gotten 5 hours of sleep. I have a test today and I have CPR class tonight (hear the violins?). I’m slowly losing my cotton picking mind.

Until the next hairy adventure.

Angels

As I’ve mentioned before, I work in an administrative office for a cancer center. Our building has 4 floors. The first floor has administrative offices and an outpatient clinic, second and third floors are our inpatient areas and the fourth floor has faculty offices and a few research labs. Early one morning, my boss had to show me the location of someone’s office because I was going to escort a candidate there for an interview and it sucks to be wandering around with a candidate like you don’t know anything about where you work. Been there, done that.

She and I are chatting, going up in the elevator and the doors open on one of the patient floors and standing before us are 3 lovely ladies dressed perfectly in white. Now, I’m not religious, but they looked like angels. Angels with a clip board, white gloves and someone they were kindly escorting on to the afterlife. They were standing around what looked to be a kind of stretcher and the stretcher was covered with this perfect white plastic sheath. Its seams were all perfectly straight, no sagging, no impression of what was beneath it. But I have a very strong suspicion that what was on the stretcher was someone who lost the war. We found ourselves standing outside the elevator on the wrong floor kind of staring at them. They smiled at us kindly and softly, going about their business, waiting on an elevator to take them down. Seeing them kind of threw us both off balance. We kind of stammered, turned around to see what floor we were on and that we needed to keep going. So we slipped back on the elevator and went on up to the fourth floor. This all happened in about 3-5 seconds, but the imagery has stuck with me, like so many other times at this place.

Healthcare is tough, but its home.

Nurse Aid 101

Last week I started my 5 week nurse aid course. I have class Monday, Tuesday and Thursday evenings from 5-9PM. It makes for lots of missing the baby/daddy and waking up feeling exhausted on Thursday mornings, apparently. I'm taking this class with 8 other people from all kinds of backgrounds. Some stories are comical, some are sad, some nothing at all. I'd like to tell you all about the cast of characters that oddly remind me of the characters I've grown to love on the NBC comedy Community.

Lets start with our teacher: we'll call her Patsy. Patsy is probably in her mid to late 50s and has done it all; from CNA to RN, hospital, nursing facility and home health, she's worked with all kinds of patients and co-workers. She's a down-home girl, has great stories and is making this class easy to absorb when my brain is about full as it is.

Now, lets set the stage. The classroom is in one of the labs. The tables and chairs are in a U-shape in the center of the room and there are dummy patients in beds against the wall. Looks almost like a hospital and its way fun. So I managed to procure a seat right in the middle of the U. Lets work our way around the table from my left. Please note that I'm making up lame names to protect anonymity.

Andrew: Andrew is about 25 maybe, has pretty long hair and has a degree in something like English. His father is a dentist and I believe his mother is a professor. He's been working in food service for a little while, probably trying to figure out to do with his life. When Andrew talks in class, you can tell he's nervous, but he takes his time and sometimes speaks from notes in front of him. He also pushes his hair behind his ears on occasion. He helped to take care of an ailing grandmother. This winter he came upon someone who had been hit by a car and was lying on the side of the road and helped care for this person while they waited on the ambulance. That's what brought him here.

Amy: Amy is Andrew's co-worker at Frische's Big Boy. She's probably in her early twenties, is small, dresses kind of punk and has a speech impediment (trouble with R's). She's got this dirty blond hair in a shaggy cut, dark roots and lots of eye make up. She's real sweet with an old soul. I love her. She wants to be an RN someday. She's volunteered at nursing homes, helps take care of her mother who is battling cancer and her brother who has epilepsy. That's what brought her here. I love this girl.

Josh: Josh is on leave from the marines. He's been serving...in San Diego...helping to fight forest fires. His parents are plastic surgeons. I don't know how strong his ambition is. I think he's here to see if he can handle the medical field and then determine if he wants to follow in his parents' shoes in college. He has a fancy phone and doesn't contribute much, but seems nice enough. Just not much dept there.

Miss Priss: This girl is slowly coming out of her shell with me. Her mom is a Nurse Practitioner in the big city and she has worked there and seen much. She is the definition of "mousey." Brown hair, sharp features, short, under 100 lbs, early 20s. I'm literally twice her size in height and weight. I could throw her over my shoulder and go about my business. She speaks in a soft, high pitched tone. She's very organized and neat. When she shakes her head "yes," she also purses her lips, clears her throat and blinks her eyes at the same time. She's the kind of girl that will correct the teacher...and totally does every class, that tiny hand shoots up. Especially with her name, because Patsy can't pronounce it for shit. She's a nursing student at my institution and is currently transitioning to a private college that has a much more prestigious nursing program. Her long term goal is to be a Nurse Practitioner in Women's Health...just like me. She tries to be funny and snarky, but I can't always hear what she says, I always have to lean in and cup my hand around my ear like an old lady. Because that's what I am. But we have common long term goals and we have bonded over that.

Then there's me, smack dab in the middle.

To my right is Doreen: She's been working on her Masters in Business Administration but decided to be a nurse. Luckily she had a good adviser that advised her to switch to Healthcare Administration her last year, so she's finishing that up. She'll start the nursing program this fall. She grew up an army brat, so she's lived all over including Clarksville, TN. She's basically been in school most of her adult life. She and I attended the same institution for our undergrad degrees. So that's cool. M-T-S-U Go, Raiders, Goooo!

Next up on the right is Sally. Sally is a Kentucky girl and her personality is as dry as the Utah desert. She's probably early to mid twenties, slightly heavy set with glasses. She recently got a super stylish shaggy hair cut. She's been working very hard to bond with Doreen and we share the occasional eye roll. She's currently a phlebotomist and has decided to move on up and being a nurse aid as well. She has apparently seen some weird things happen while taking blood and wants to make sure her patients get the best care possible. She's an odd bird, I would know. I like her.

Then there's Cathy. Cathy sounds like she's from the north east, is probably in her early-mid 50s and looks it, probably because of her most recent profession: horse trainer/breeder. From the looks of her skin, you can see that she's been working outside for years. She's got this short, shaggy hair, in an odd shade of black roots and red/brown ends. Last year her fiance was in a really tragic accident that resulted in him being in a rehabilitation center for months and months. She stayed by his side the whole time. And now, she has a new career goal. She's really genuine, asks lots of good questions in class and I respect her a great deal.

And last, but not least, is Lucy. Lucy comes to us direct from China. With a B.S. and M.S. in Sociology, she went to school for a long time to work with people, but the work she was doing for the premier made her feel like she didn't understand people enough. So, she's studying nursing to get a better grasp on what it means to really provide people with basic needs care. She has an interesting background and I think her story is compelling.

I've only been in class with these folks for one week, but it feels like much more than that. By Thursday night I was so tired that I'm surprised I made it home, seriously. Then Friday morning I slept in a bit. Oh well, it sure makes Saturday's a lot more special. We'll see what adventures this week's classes bring.

Decided.

We've made our decision. It just makes the most logical sense for us right now. More on where we're going later.

Next steps:

• Get the house ready to sell, sell, sell!
• Get a job
• Get movin!

Adventure, here we come!