Now what?

So last week we drove to WV to do the funeral and family thing. It was bittersweet. I had this moment while we were blowing things up on Saturday where I could hear everyone laughing and clapping and it felt so good to be with all of them and savor in that moment of joy in the midst of our grief. I'm so lucky. I love being with my family. I love being with my husband's family. Life is good. Life is good. But I sure do miss my grandpa.

Work schmerk. I'm applying for jobs because I'm ready for something different. I'm ready for different people, different leadership, environment... I realize that its a crap shoot as to how well it could work out, but at this point I really don't give a shit. Bring it.

I've been restless for the last month (year) or so. I'm anxious to get out of this state, let alone this job, because I know in my heart that it isn't where I want us to be long term. I also know that I only want us to make one more big move if we can help it. Being home stirred up some feelings of wanting to be there for my folks when they are older and less able like my mom and dad are for all of my grandparents and for our kids to be close to my folks...have a relationship with them...have their help when we need it and vise/verse. I had the privilege of living close to both sets of grandparents and having good relationships with them. I'm just having a hard time seeing us living there. Don't get me wrong, its a great town....but its a small town. I want more for my family. More employment options, school options, life options, etc. We aren't going to find that in north central WV at this time. I was chatting about all of this to Derek in the car on the way home yesterday and he wasn't as clear as I was about KY no longer being on the table long term. Luckily he didn't protest to my resolve to leave. But we did do the pros/cons run-down on living at home. I just need to take a deep breath and relax about it all. No need to rush anything along. It'll all come together when its supposed to. Ears to the ground for the right move at the right time.

On that note, enjoy the breathtaking view above of North Fork Mountain in the great state of West Virginia, makes my heart swell. Oh how I love that place. Oh how I long to feel at home somewhere....