I think regularly about the word survival. I have almost survived 1.5 years of nursing school. That's 3 whole semesters. We don't really make enough money to make ends meet, but we do survive thanks to things like student loans and bitchin' tax returns. Sure, I get tired of living right under the wire, but I continually remind myself that in one more year, I'll be a straight up survivor. Let me tell you a little about my life and the roles I play:
- Wife, daughter, sister, friend
- Mother to a 3 year old Petit Bebe
- Part time employee in an administrative office
- Full time Nursing student
- House keeper/meal planner/grocery buyer
- Clothes washer/dryer/put-away-er
- Household bill payer/accountant/panic-er
- Event/trip planner
I am in no way attempting to induce sympathy or declare my martyrdom. For I do not exceed at all of these things. In fact, I fail regularly in most of the above categories. Lets count the ways:
- Monthly forget to pay a bill
- Wait until clothes are piled all over the house to start laundry...or clean house
- Forget to call my family for weeks at a time despite their attempts at contact due to stress-induced poor attention span
- Argue regularly with my husband about everything
- Forget to do things at work d/t constant studying or day dreaming
- Get angry at husband for playing on the internet when he could be doing dishes
- Over scheduling myself (at work/school/home) so that I lack time to just kick back and watch a movie with my old man on the couch
- I am almost NEVER in the moment
The young people I go to school with often list all of my responsibilities to me and follow it up with a "girl, I don't know how you do it all" or "wow, you have a lot of responsibilities". I usually just kind of nod and sigh, because what else can I say? I don't know why I signed up for school the semester after my daughter was born, I just new that I had to do it. It came to me like i've always dreamed my life's purpose would: like a bolt of lightening to the forehead. Right after delivering Petit Bebe, I just thought "wow, this nurse is really amazing....I need to give this back to the universe." Its been hard, these last 3 years of school and learning to be a mother, but I know that the payoff for me and my family is huge. And nothing has been more reaffirming to me that this is what I'm meant to do than coming to school, digging my heels in and learning. Its almost the hardest thing I've ever done and I love it.
Two semesters to go. We will survive them.
