Growing Up is Hard to Do.

My name is Molly and I'm apparently still evolving.

I'm having a rough week. School is looming. I know, I know, its only June. But am starting an online stats class next week which has started dredging up the feelings I had all semester of stress, frustration and, most importantly, a fear of not seeing my kid as much as I'd like. That causes me to have to ask myself lots of questions. For example: Is this all really worth it? Will my life be that much better after I graduate or will I be working nights and still not seeing my kid between work and the recovery required after working nights? I also have a money problem. Yes, I can do student loans, but it would require me to take out around 20K+ per year to go to school and not work so that we could basically just break even but also doesn't eliminate the stress of school work hence taking away from my home life.

So here's my big epiphany: the most important thing to me is my family and having relationships with my husband and child. I do not wish to be this person who is always locked away in her office or has to constantly leave to go study something or write something or be up until 2 or 3AM to be able to squeeze everything in. Its just no way to live. Its just no way to live.

I'm still processing this and will have to learn to be ok with all of it. I'm kind of in morning about a lot of things. I'm going to try to come up with a solution or a conclusion in the next week or so. Until then, have a nice week.

Molly

Its Friday, that can only mean one thing!

Tomorrow night I'll be broadcasting from my kitchen where I don't have to keep my voice down for fear of waking up a toddler...or you. Coming up:

Greetings from Kentucky

Saturday night @ 11:00PM

This week:

- Update on Molly's FB diet
- The Summer Movie List!
- Molly makes a Moscow Mule live in honor of her finally watching all 3 hours of Dr. Zhivago...bring on the headaches!
- Old Lady Hips
- Another "Does your mom ____?" segment.

Available via:
- BlogTalkRadio.com
- iTunes

Vacation To-Do's:

I've been going to the beach since before I can really remember and its something I look forward to every year, right after all the Christmas/Hanukkah hoopla has expired. You will typically see an increase in "beach" themed posts on this here blog annually around this time. I know it gets ridiculous, but I am in fact a dork and well, you are in fact still here.

Basically, the countdown clock starts around mid January after you've booked your beach house. Once you reach a certain point within the countdown, its ok to start working on those to-do lists and deciding what you want to get out of your vacation. Maybe its a day trip on an off shore fishing boat, maybe its hikes through the dunes, surfing, para-sailing, eating as much seafood as humanly possible or just plain hitting the beach and soaking in the sun to get some serotonin released. Or maybe its all of those things, but that is really up to you. The kind of vacation I was taught about was a week to purely kick back. We aren't the kind of crew that has to constantly be doing something. Everyone basically goes to the beach mid morning, stays until they can't stand it any longer, then goes back to the house to clean up and curl up in his/her corner with a book or pillow until its time to eat again. But really, its always time to eat on vacation. This year, I want to do a few more things than usual.

We are about 2 months out till vacation....maybe a month and a half. But there are things I need to be thinking about, slowly accumulating, and scheming. We can do this trip on the cheap, but that takes skill and perseverance. I'm ready.

Prep List:

1. Crab Trap...like how this is my first priority?
   
2. Kayak rental
3. Some ocean fishing gear for the peer
4. Sunscreen (SPF 70-100) for me and Bebe.
5. Plan and print route...what's the most reliable site, y'all?
   
6. Picnic lunch and snacks for drive. Sandwiches galore. Pimento cheese a must.
   
7. Beg sister to try to find a way to come to beach...just weird with out her there laughing and making us all belly laugh all day long.
   
8. Shop bathing suits for all three of us. We need more than one each I'm thinking, but we could totally make due.
9. Shop beach chairs for "the deal"...I'm thinking yard sales or Goodwill.
   
10. Get the old bike fixed up
11. Load up the iPod.
12. Rent ocean kayak with Dad
13. Books on "tape" from library
    

To-Do @Beach but not with any sort of rigid schedule

1. Freckle tanning, shell hunting and belly surfing with the fam
   
2. Ocean Kayaking: I saw some folks doing some kayaking through the marsh on an early morning walk last year on vacation and the water was just glistening and I can only imagine how wonderful that was, so I'm gonna go find out.
   
3. Fishin'/crabbing with Bebe: Also, another new adventure! Its something that I always think of on the last day so I never get to do it. I'm doing research on how to make a cheap crab trap, but if you have suggestions, I'm wide open.
4. Napping, serious napping.
   
5. Ice cream (please let there be more fro-yo avail this year)
   
6. Boiled peanuts...ahem. I want to grow my own peanuts someday for this purpose alone (see: majorly geeking out, but then I'll bring you a bag someday and then you'll know the secrets of the universe).
7. Giant Broiled Sea Scallops. Amen.
   
8. Napping
   

And yet, see? Not one list of things constantly streaming through my brain, but two lists. At least this dose of streaming insanity is for the purpose of fun.

Have a nice day,
Your Slightly Bananas Friend Molly

Raging With Weed Eater

My grandpa gave me a Weed Eater from his collection when I was home last week. I finally got the gas and gas oil mixed and ready to rock yesterday. Once I got it started I tore through my front and back yards. I think I had it revved up a little to long because when I was done the blood was raging through my veins and I wanted to start a war. But I didn't... I was snarky to my husband a little bit, but it couldn't be helped.

Lets see, what did I do on my day off? Weed Eatered front/back yards, cleaned and swept out the garage, whipped out the Saw's All and electric drill and make a box for my raised garden that I'll be workin' on this week, laundry, CLR'd the deck table, chairs and umbrella (marked improvement, CLR is magic) and then started tearing down the old raised flower beds that sit against the back porch. Then the massive headache took over and after a very long shower, I ended up on the couch for a good hour or two. The headaches are frequent, can't seem to pinpoint the problem. Let the theories roll in!

Speaking of headaches, lets talk liquor! Its the perfect time of year for Bloody Marys. Here are some recipes I'll be working my way through, soon as I get me some more Vodka.

• The Food Lab: Fully Loaded Bloody Mary
• Cajun Bloody Mary
• Tara's Killer Bloody Mary
  

Go try them out. Maybe I'll do one up for the next show...but the headaches. I'm so painfully lame.

Love,
Molly

Technical Difficulties Continue.

So, last night I tried to use headphones on my phone for the show because my phone gets so freakin' hot after 30 minutes. The down side to that, apparently, is that it didn't record my voice! I'll do a re-do tonight or tomorrow. How. Depressing. It was a good one too. Sorry, I'll get it one of these days.

Onward and upward!
Molly

What a weird week, eh?

After being off on Monday, I was thrown as far as what day it was for the rest of the week. Oh well, we made it to Friday. I'm happy about it. I even worked out this morning.

I have spent much of my energy this week looking for one of those molded plastic swimming pools with a slide for Petite Bebe to enjoy this summer. I'm going to call a few places at lunch time and if I find one, she and I will go get it tonight on the way home. Then we can just play play play all weekend in the pool. If I can't get one I'll have to get one of those blow up ones with the slide or a slip n slide. When I was a kid our neighbor across the road made a home made one with an old plastic tarp and a garden hose. It was on a hill (because everything is on a hill in WV) and it was awesome. Good old days.

Here's to a great weekend,
Molly

Wednesday by the Numbers

1. I've been trying to cut back on sugar and artificial sweeteners. Not an easy task, but I can tell you that my tastes have already changed. Half a pack of Splenda has some punch now. I like it. I'm also trying to cut back on the soda, which will be hard for me. I loves my Diet Coke and Diet Sundrop, both equally evil and delicious.

2. My Papaw (dad's dad) gave me one of his three weed eaters. He gave me a thorough instruction on how to mix the gas with the fancy oil. Once I get it going, I'm basically going to strip my back yard and start over, nice and neat. I'll need to get some of that tonight when Lilly and I make a Walmart run. We are getting that stuff and hopefully a pool! Genderist got this awesome hard plastic kiddie pool with a little built-in slide. I had one like that when I was a kid, but it was green and shaped like a turtle. Too bad they don't have any of those. But the real trick will be getting the pool home, I hope it fits in the little red Family Truckster.

3. I still really want some chickens. Live, egg laying, bug eating, squawky, bitchy chickens.

4. Today is warmer and less humid and that makes me happy.

5. I stayed on the elliptical this morning for the full 30 minutes.

6. I'm actually going to survive this morning without drinking the office coffee. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.

7. The blog show is going fair but still needs some work. It will improve over time. I will be patient about this.

8. I had a Mom Blog once. It was off to a good start, but there were just so many others out there that I figured it would get lost in the already existing ocean of parenting blogs. But it was cool. And it had a bitchin' logo, thanks to awesome Donna.

9. I'm a little worried we won't be able to afford to go on vacation this year. My parents are renting the beach house, so it would just be travel costs. But that ain't cheap these days. Either way, it is a gift to even have the opportunity.

10. Day two of this mental exercise is going well. I'm steady, I'm calm. No manic ups or downs, no worries about the past or future, just a resolve focus on the here and now.

11. Last night I pulled out the stove and cleaned behind and underneath and scrubbed the encrusted food that gets trapped between the counter edge and the stove. It was gross, but now it is clean!

12. My mama gave me this large, rounded clear coffee cup that was a give-away at work. Seeing the warm color of my tea makes it taste better. Thank you!

13. Just took the internet service off of our cell phones to save a little monies. We weren't really using it that much. But we still have the ability to send pictures, or so they told me. I'm feelin' good about this. I wonder how else I might save some cash.

Down from the Mountain

Tune in this evening to hear me pontificate about stuff. Particularly my trip to WV and the failed attempt at a BTR post this past Saturday night.

We had a great trip to WV with the kid but I'm tired as hell. I would really like to go home early today, but I have about 2 more hours left. Lawsy mercy me.

Until this evening,
Molly

Tonight's Show - Rescheduled

Tonight's show is being rescheduled for Tuesday at 11PM EST.

Peace out,
Molly

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